


Floorspace Invaders

by CaffieneKitty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Back Pain, Comment Fic, Community: sherlockbbc_fic, Dialogue-Only, Domestic, Gen, Humor, Season/Series 01, bad housekeeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2011-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 23:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffieneKitty/pseuds/CaffieneKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PROMPT:<a href="http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/8651.html?thread=40813259#t40813259">John puts his back out and has to spend a whole weekend lying on the living room floor. Sherlock finds this inconvenient, mainly because he keeps almost tripping over him while he's pacing/thinking.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Floorspace Invaders

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Written before Series 2 when Sherlock's bedroom was a complete mystery and source of much speculation.
> 
>  
> 
> _Originally posted on the Meme May 1, 2011_

"Could you not pace elsewhere?"

"There is close to 800 square feet of floor space in this flat, on two stories, and only one sitting room in which I can pace. Could you not _lie_ elsewhere?"

"Can't get up the stairs to my room, the stairs up to this level nearly did me in. Not enough room in the bathroom, not going to lie on the kitchen floor as it'd be safer to lie on the floor of a biochemical weapons factory-"

"I keep telling you, John, I only weaponised that by _accident_."

"Doesn't matter, not lying on the floor in there. That leaves the sitting room."

"What about my bedroom?"

"What about your bedroom? Isn't it mythical?"

"I have a bedroom. It has a floor on which you can lie and be out of my pacing path."

"...You know, I think I'd rather risk you kicking me in the head."

"What? Why?"

"Your bedroom floor? Is it visible?"

"Yes. Mostly. I think. Does it matter?"

"A bit, yeah, as lying flat on my back usually requires what I'm lying on to be flat as well and not covered with bundles of newspaper and bits of interestingly shattered glass."

"That's in the kitchen."

"So is your floor clear then?"

"I can make it clear. You can lie on the floor in my room in perfect tranquility, and I can pace unimpeded."

"... There's nothing living in your bedroom is there?"

"No."

" _Formerly_ living?"

"...No?"

"Let's hope then. Nothing disturbing under the bed?"

"Why on earth should you care what's under my bed."

"I'm going to spend the next several hours staring at it while I'm lying on the floor, more than likely."

"Ah. Yes. Well. I'll check."

"No noxious chemicals in the carpeting?"

"My room is _fine_ , John. It's not a torture chamber or a tip."

"Really."

"...I'll go clear the floor."

"I'll start trying to stand. That should give you most of an hour to clear up."


End file.
